guilt

Dieter’s Guilt and Floppy Appendages

On September 4, 2011, I decided to take control of my health. All summer I’d felt like crap due to weight-related health issues such as high blood pressure and acid reflux. It slowed me down. I even had to take several weeks off from Apex stuff!

Apexus interruptus is serious business!

Anyway, the diet and exercise routine has went on for close to six months. I’ve lost 34 pounds. Gained some muscles. I should be in much better shape for convention season. Especially if I can shed another 24 pounds to reach my goal of 200 pounds.

In the meantime, I’ve become addicted to dieting and exercising. Not that either makes me feel good. It’s more about guilt. If I cheat and eat too much my stomach aches with guilt. If I miss the gym I toss and turn in bed out of guilt.

I’ve heard of people who grow addicted to working out. Not me. Every single workout I start out thinking there is no way I’ll endure a whole hour of weights and cardio. I go home exhausted wondering where the hell is the endorphin charge hiding.

I never thought guilt would be so damn powerful. To the dismay of family and friends, I seldom feel guilt for anything I do. Yet, the guilt is strong because I’ve dealt with more hunger, sore muscles, and too many random naked dudes in the gym locker room to let the pounds come back.

Parting shot. I have also learned too many dudes are too damn comfortable socializing while completely nude.